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Fucking mayonnaise

I forgot to start taking pictures until after the most interesting part of the meal prep was over. This is because I'm more interested in cooking than blogging. Not that I don't enjoy writing about food, but I much more enjoy every other aspect of it. So I'll just tell you a story about tonight's dinner.
When I was at work thinking about what fun thing I should do with my blender next, I decided that making mayonnaise not by hand would probably be a lot more enjoyable than whisking for 4 straight fucking days. So I got to thinking about my recipe I had used before: egg, extra virgin olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper.
Minced red onion, sliced garlic, diced bell pepper, sliced zucchini and mushroom
Well, I don't have any lemons, and I didn't want to stop at the grocery store after work, so I got to thinking about what other acidic shit I might already have on hand. One thing led to another, and I ended up looking through a pH table from Clemson University comparing various common ingredients, and decided I wanted to try with balsamic vinegar.
Chicken legs and skin dredged in flour and cayenne,
washed with balsamic mayo, and breaded with crumbs
The pH was similar enough to lemon, so I figured it would work and wanted to know how it tasted. So when I got to the house, I dumped a couple of eggs, a few splashes of balsamic vinegar, and some extra virgin olive oil into my blender and started running it. Unfortunately, I had no idea what my ingredient ratios should have been, so I kept blending, adding a little vinegar, blending, adding a little oil...it took me a few minutes to get the consistency I was wanting.
Fried that chicken in butter and olive oil as one should
So the consistency was right, but what about the flavor? I gave it a taste and it was...okay, I guess. Like, mayo's not supposed to be flavorful, right? Except fuck that noise, because I want to taste that shit. I definitely got some balsamic flavor through it, but I wanted more. I added in more vinegar and some salt, ran it for a bit, and kept slowly increasing the vinegar levels until it was juuuuust right.
Sauce with the veggies, some spinach, white wine, parmesan, and cream
So now that I had mayo, what was I going to do? Well, if you've been following the captions on the pictures, you know what I made: fuckin fried chicken. And you want to talk about moist and flavorful chicken with a crispy breading? Because that's exactly what the fuck I got.
A little fettucine for the sauce
I made some pasta with veggie sauce to go with it. That's pretty standard fare, nothing super special about it. I've probably made this exact same sauce in another post on here.
To plate it all up, I spun and laid some noodles, spooned a little extra sauce and veg on top, sliced one of the chicken legs and displayed it around the pasta, then threw a little squirt of that parsley oil into the middle. 
FUCKING. DE. LISH. OUS. Even having the parsley oil on there helped blend everything together. It was all so fucking perfect that, on my first bite, I said, and I quote, "God...DAMN!" Literal tears in my eyes. This right here. This is the shit I've been trying to put together. And it's all because of fucking mayonnaise. 

p.s. Not including the $40 blender, this meal cost about $3 for two servings. It's a good deal, y'all.
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