ODG Eats

I still relish the memory of the first time I ate an authentic curry while summering in the north of Connecticut as a precocious child. Wait, never mind. That's bullshit. Sorry, I read a couple other food blogs this week and forgot that this is supposed to be about food, not being a pretentious dipshit who tries to assert my own superiority over everyone else due to my family's wealth. We did okay, but we weren't any of those rich assholes who thinks that authentic anything comes from northern Connecticut. Fuck that shit. This is a place for real food. Well, the pasta-making bug has bitten my ass in spades. After my pre-seasoned spaghetti and meatballs  experiment, I started thinking about what other weird shit I could do. The first idea I had, for better or worse, was making my own curry powder and mixing it into some noodle dough. I also wanted to make some vegan noodles for my vegan friends, so I mixed water with flour and extra virgin olive oil to make the dough. I just...

You ever just been lazing around on a Sunday thinking, "Man, I have no chores, no responsibilities, all the time in the world, and plenty of energy to spend on cooking!" while surveying your property? Me neither, but I chose to ignore my responsibilities to spend a few hours making spaghetti and meatballs from as close to scratch as I could.  I actually read a recipe for making pasta. It said to make a "nest" out of two cups of flour, then crack three eggs into the middle with a little olive oil and salt. I decided I wanted to be fancy, so I added in some basil, oregano, and parsley. I like my noodles to be interesting. I would like to quickly note: I am not Jacques Pépin, Martha Stewart, or Garden Contessa, so I don't have fancy little herbs growing just outside my door. I like using fresh ingredients as much as possible, but it's not always possible. I couldn't find oregano or basil at Kroger, so I grabbed one of these little bastards. They're drie...

So I know a person or two who don't like eating carbohydrates because they hate happiness or something. I'm not sure. That's what I've been able to glean. Anyway, they like this lavash bread stuff, which is just really fucking flat bread that's low in carbs. Just for a comparison: a slice of white bread has (on average) 15g of carbs, a slice of whole wheat bread has (on average) 12g of carbs, and half of a lavash flatbread has (on average) 8g of carbs. Significantly less, right? So we're cooking with that shit. I decided to make a chicken flatbread with it because I wanted pizza and the bread was flat, so that was a win-win. I cubed up some chicken legs, seasoned them with salt, and browned them in olive oil. I made sure not to cook it all the way through since it was going into the oven and I didn't want to dry that shit out. I decided to use olive oil since this meal was kind of Italian-ish and so is olive oil or something. I also didn't want to fuck w...

Well, I managed to eat all of my Thanksgiving stream leftovers, which was no small feat. I definitely gained a few pounds over the last couple weeks, but that's life, right? Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view), I have a few leftover ingredients that I need to get through. Some of them didn't last, like the small carrot that I had peeled and didn't use. Y'all know I hate wasting shit, but some things had to get tossed. Luckily, the leftover sweet potato, turnip, and celery still had some life in them, so I used those first. I diced up about half of the sweet potato and about half of the turnip and boiled them in some salted water. I had to let that go for a while to soften up the turnip (the sweet potato goes a little faster). Now, when I say "for a while," I really mean "for-fucking-ever." While that was going... ...I went ahead and pan fried some adobo chicken legs in butter and olive oil... ...sautéed a chopped celery st...

I worked late tonight, which sets off a chain reaction of misery. My dogs didn't see me until later. I didn't get to use the bathroom and change clothes until after that. I didn't get to start cooking until after that was done. Worst part was, I had an idea at work for what I wanted to do for dinner, and it was something that took a lot fucking longer to make than I wanted to wait. But I did it. I waited. And it was fucking worth it.  So I minced up 5 baby bella mushrooms, and that took way to goddamn long. Some of the pieces ended up a little bit bigger because I was fucking tired of chopping fucking mushrooms. I finely diced about a quarter of a yellow bell pepper and dumped that in with the mushrooms, then I minced a bit of red onion and garlic cloves.  I started off the onion and garlic in some melted butter and let them sweat for a few minutes. By the way, if you've never cooked garlic and onion in butter, fucking do it, just for the smell. It's like heaven sha...