So anyway, I got to drinkin, then I got to hung'rin, then I got to cookin.
I bought a value pack of cans of sardines on my last Kroger run. That's the kind of impulse purchases you can expect from me. I made sure to get the cans packed in olive oil as opposed to those packed in mustard (which are also great for snacking, but I didn't want the mustard on in case I decided to cook with them).
Now, if you want them whole, you've gotta be careful pulling those fuckers out of a tin since they're packed in there really tightly (if you weren't aware of that, now you'll understand the phrase "packed in like sardines") and are also quite tender, so they can break apart quite easily (as evidenced by the broken ones above). Now, I had had a few ideas on what I wanted to do with the sardines and some zucchini, so I took another shot of mezcal and got to work.
Dish 1: Fried sardines and zucchini noodles
I kept it simple for the first dish. I took some corn starch, mixed in some salt, black pepper, cayenne, and ground mustard, then dredged the a couple whole fillets in that before lightly frying them in butter. I didn't want a full bread coating; just a little brown crunch.
The frying went really well. The important thing to remember is these sardines were already cooked, so I only needed to get that crust on there.
As for the zucchini, just a couple runs on the mandolin gave me some "noodles" to go along with these tasty fillets. Note that glass bowl. It will be important later.
Dish 2: Zucchini slices topped with sardine pâté
I decided to pretend to be fancy and make a kind of pâté with the sardines like I did once before with chicken livers. So anyway, I smashed up some sardine in a ramekin, grated in a clove of garlic, grated in a little onion, and dropped in a tablespoon or so of butter. I let the butter soften some, then started mixing the shit out of it with a spoon. Pro tip: if you're making pâté, use a food processor instead of a spoon. It's a fuckton easier.
After things were pretty well mixed, I added in a few dashes of sherry, then kept mixing until it made a nice paste. Pretty simple process and didn't take too awful long, but, like I said, use a food processor if you're making any sort of real quantity. As for the zucchini, I just cut a few diagonal slices. I didn't even take pictures. I took a knife and cut the squash. Figure it out.
Dish 3: Sardine and zucchini patties
So I decided I wanted to make some mayo/mustard combo. Step 1: drink more mezcal. Step 2: skim two recipes that disagree on most details. Step 3: start doing shit and see what happens.
I started with two whole eggs in a bowl, dropped in some apple cider vinegar and extra virgin olive oil, then started mixing with my immersion blender. Once things were mixed well, I started adding salt, black pepper, ground mustard, more vinegar and more oil while I kept mixing.
I have no fucking clue how much of anything I put in there (except for the two eggs), but eventually it seemed kind of creamy and tasted pretty good, so I stopped mixing, put it in the fridge, and moved on.
Next up was making the patties. I threw my sardines and a few chunks of zucchini into my mortar and started beating the hell out of them with my pestle. Where did I get a mortar and pestle? No fucking clue. It's been sitting in the top of my spice cabinet for at least a decade.
Once I got everything beaten down to a pulp, I added some salt, pepper, and cayenne to season it, then grated in some Romano cheese and poured in some bread crumbs to help the patties hold their shape.
I formed the paste into patties, then coated those with bread crumbs seasoned with salt, pepper, ground mustard, and cayenne. I then crisped up the patties in butter (immediately after the fillets mentioned above). A few minutes on each side, and everything seemed good to go.
Oh, yeah, and remember the glass bowl from earlier? You fucking better have, because that's our secret weapon. After sticking the zucchini in there, I dropped in a big pinch of kosher salt, then poured in white wine vinegar to cover it all up. Instant pseudopickles. You're fucking welcome.
The Plate
To start with, I rolled some of the zucchini noodles into a nice little ring, then topped that with a fried fillet. Simple, elegant, perfect. I also put a tablespoon of the mustard/mayo shit into the adjacent corner and drug my spoon through to give it a nice little look.
Next, I laid one of the patties onto the mustard/mayo shit, then topped a few zucchini slices with some of that pâté and set them in the middle. I kept the stem from the zucchini I was mainly using today and stuck it in the corner to look special.
Last, but definitely not least, I draped a few of those zucchini pickle strips onto the patty, and we were off to the races. Overall, the flavor was pretty fucking fantastic. I would have preferred more food, but I'm fat, so I generally do prefer more food. All in all, this was a win from top to bottom, and I'll definitely be exploring some more shit like this moving forward.
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