A whole chicken, part 1

 One thing I've started doing this year is buying whole chickens instead of packs of chicken breasts/thighs/wings/legs/whatever. The reasons are fourfold:

1. It's cost effective: for $10-$15, I get 11-12 meals' worth of meat
2. It's good practice: breaking down a chicken helps strengthen my knife skills
3. It provides more variety: if I buy a pack of chicken breasts, I get to cook and eat chicken breasts. This way, I get to switch it up every night
4. It reduces waste: I use all of the chicken

There are some great video guides to how to break down whole chickens. I learned a lot from watching Gordon Ramsay do it. The problem is, he does it in 30 fucking seconds, says something like, "Okay, got it? Now you do it," and that's...it...

So I do it a bit more slowly. Tonight took 16 minutes (I mean, I was taking several pictures), but I'm usually around 6-7 minutes now. When you compare that to the 15-20 minutes it took me starting off in January, it's a pretty marked improvement. It's okay if we can't do something in the same time it would take someone with 40 years more experience; I don't ever expect to break down a chicken as fast as Ramsay. The important thing is getting a bit faster, a bit more efficient than we were before. Just make sure you use a sharp knife. You will hate life if you don't. Trust me.

The first thing I do is remove the wings. When you lift the wing up, you can see the skin stretching underneath it. I start off by lifting the wing about 90 degrees and slicing that armpit skin to allow more freedom of movement. Then I flip the wing over the shoulder almost 180 degrees to dislocate that joint. At that point, I can just slide my knife between the bones to cut the tendons, then finish slicing through the flesh on the other side. Easy peasy.

Once the wings are off, I generally flip the chicken and go after the legs. It's the same basic process for the legs: lift, cut the stretchy skin, keep flipping until the joint dislocates, cut the tendon and the rest of the flesh. Boomshakalaka.

The thighs are still the toughest part for me. Once again, it's a similar process, but you've got to do a bit more slicing before the joint can dislocate (or you can be firmer with how you handle the chicken; maybe I'm too gentle and could dislocate without cutting as much). As you can see above, I kind of hacked the first thigh to death. When you're finished, it will just be the single bone surrounded by meat.

The second thigh went a bit more smoothly.

After the thighs, it's time for the boobies. Find the sternum (it's the breastbone, or the bone in the middle of the chest for you bastards that didn't pay attention in grade school). Slide your knife just down the side of the sternum and gently slice your way down to the ribs. This should be a pretty simple cut, and you stop when the knife stops sliding, at which point you angle your knife and separate the hooter from the ribs. Tada! It's a tata!

We should take a moment to talk about tasteful underboob: the tenderloin (the piece I'm pushing out with my thumb). It's attached to the underside of the breast and can be easily removed by cutting whatever the fuck that membrane is. Don't sleep on the tenderloins: they are delightful.

But wait! There's more! Chicken skin is positively heavenly. Fantastic flavor, terrific texture, captivating color. I mean, you'll notice I left the skin on everything (more or less...stupid fucking thigh...), and I'm not leaving all of that skin on the carcass. Find a spot where the skin is separated from the meat, or, if it's not, peel some up. You can slide your knife under the skin to separate it from the meat along the whole body. I usually season and pan fry the skin for a snack or an accompaniment for a meal. Get it good and crispy and munch that crunch.

If you're following along, we've got ourselves two breasts, two tenderloins, two wings, two legs, two thighs, and one carcass. Throw that carcass in a gallon size freezer bag and toss it in the freezer. When you need chicken broth, you can use that (there will be a upcoming posts on broth, don't worry). Since I'm cooking for myself, I stick the chicken parts in quart size freezer bags: the legs in one, the thighs in another, the wings in a third, the tenderloins and skin in a fourth, and each of the breasts in the fifth and sixth. I generally get two meals out of a bag (excluding the tenderloin/skin bag). I cook up the two legs or one breast or whatever and eat half for dinner and the other half for lunch the next day. They get tossed in the freezer (excluding what I'm cooking that night or the next) until the day before I cook them. So sharpen your knife, get a bird, and cut that fucker to pieces!